Comments on The Lyon's Tale: WNW: Conversational Pause Lengths

Good post. I'm guilty of both...interrupting early...

2009-07-12T10:15:59.151-07:00

Good post. I'm guilty of both...interrupting early and waiting to long to give my input. Who knew talking could be so hard?

Fabulous and interesting. I knew this and yet not...

2009-07-10T13:38:26.195-07:00

Fabulous and interesting. I knew this and yet not consciously ... my dad has about a minute long pause length, and I've always learned to just wait for him to finish up. But I didn't realize how it played into other relationships as well.

I have two story tellers in my family. Hubby and l...

2009-07-09T06:43:40.928-07:00

I have two story tellers in my family. Hubby and little girl like to both have the flow and time to weave their tales. Dinner time is interesting, because they both want the floor. At every break, little girl jumps in trying to start her turn and hubby just tells her to wait.

I keep silent and save my stories for my computer. :)

I have often thought my best girl friend and I get...

2009-07-08T23:50:29.144-07:00

I have often thought my best girl friend and I get along so well because we both think it is okay to talk over each other when we get excited. It's like we have no pause at all. I know this would be rude to do to just about anyone else, and I don't want others to do it to me, but isn't it interesting that it works with my bff?

My pause lengths are way to sho-- I once tried to...

2009-07-08T23:36:01.883-07:00

My pause lengths are way to sho--

I once tried to "lengthen" my response time, in an effort to avoid interrupting people, and several of my family members thought I was angry with them or didn't want to talk to them anymore. Strange, huh? They also thought that I didn't enjoy talking to them as much. Guess that says a lot about where I come fro--

Pause lengths...mine are pretty short, whereas my ...

2009-07-08T22:03:00.686-07:00

Pause lengths...mine are pretty short, whereas my husbands are l-o-n-g. My kids are somewhere in the middle. Curious, mmm?

I feel like I offend because my pauses are short, but my own reasoning is talk time is usually short to nonexistant for me with my 4 young kids, whether in person or on the phone. So I often try and squeeze in as much talking as possible.

I remember reading about this for the first time in college and being blown away. It's good to remember it again.

This is so interesting. For the first couple of y...

2009-07-08T17:35:33.536-07:00

This is so interesting. For the first couple of years of marriage, Christian accused me of ignoring him or not wanting to talk to him. After a couple of years, he figured out that my pause length was MUCH longer than his (at least when we are talking about in depth things - I would spend 5-6 seconds thinking before I would talk). Once we both realized this, he is much happier to wait until I am ready to talk, and then what I have to say is more coherent and understood.

Very interesting idea, and one I've never really t...

2009-07-08T13:42:29.968-07:00

Very interesting idea, and one I've never really thought about. I'm going to watch for this. Interesting.

I am a talkative girl, with short pause lenghts!

2009-07-08T13:00:22.108-07:00

I am a talkative girl, with short pause lenghts!

Very interesting, and true. I've never thought abo...

2009-07-08T12:58:54.195-07:00

Very interesting, and true. I've never thought about it before, but my husband and I definitely have VERY different pause lengths. He's always accusing me of interrupting him, and I'm always kind of surprised that he thought I was. :)

Jordan, The one about mother/daughter relationship...

2009-07-08T12:30:24.955-07:00

Jordan, The one about mother/daughter relationships was way cool--both as a daughter AS and a mother of daughters. It was really eye-opening. And it actually inspired a scene in my next book!

My pause lengths are definitely much much shorter ...

2009-07-08T12:28:41.160-07:00

My pause lengths are definitely much much shorter than my husband's. This is especially true in public when I feel compelled to fill gaps that I find awkward. But then, I'm also sure that something I need to work on is allowing for longer gaps in conversation so that other people can speak their share. :)

Have you read her books on family conversation and...

2009-07-08T11:35:45.837-07:00

Have you read her books on family conversation and mother/daughter conversation? I'm most interested in that these days—I worry about the messages my kids take away from what I say (and do). Like if I say, "I love you, but you can't hit your sister," are they hearing "I only love you when you don't hit your sister?" Or does "I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have done that." come across as "You shouldn't have done that. And I'm not sorry."?

I probably overthink this (they're three and one right now, after all!), but I do try to say "but" less after those statements.

Wow. Talk about eye opening. Can't wait to go ha...

2009-07-08T10:43:36.713-07:00

Wow. Talk about eye opening. Can't wait to go have a conversation with someone so I can mull this over some more.

Alas, my five year old generally has NO pauses . . .