Friday, February 12, 2010

A Valentine Post from #3

My three oldest kids have their own blogs that their friends and family read. #2 and #3 update theirs more often than my oldest, and it's been a great writing exercise for them.

#3, who is in 5th grade, has created a second blog for an alter-ego named Bob. He's got his own personality, and my daughter has this wicked sense of humor she uses when writing in Bob's voice.

I'm hoping she forgives me for doing this, but first, I laughed myself silly when I read it and second, it's Valentines Day weekend. I couldn't resist.

These are her words exactly as they appeared on Bob's blog, unedited or changed by me at all, but inspired by the picture you'll see at the end.


valentines day . . . It doesn't deserve to be capitalized

You all know what time of year it is right? It's not quite the winter wonder land it was but it's not warm yet. It's just, uh, awful. It's cold outside but is there snow? NO! All there is , is just soggy slushy dirt piles of ice. (I know, makes no sense.) And how do the people decide to cheer us up? With some holiday all about...(gulp)...LL...L....L...Lo..lo....LOVE! Whoof! Glad I got that out of me. Any who, it's a holiday trying to cheer us up but it's a stupid holiday! I don't care what you guys think it is! And for many different reasons!

1. It's stupid
2. It's Idiotic
3. It's dumb
4. It's worthless
5. It's all mushy gushy....BLAH!
6. It's REALLY stupid
7. It's REALLY idiotic
8. It's REALLY dumb
9. It's REALLY worthless
10. It's REALLY all mushy gushy...BLAH!

Now, besides that, the #1 reason why valentine's day sucks (Notice, not capitalized. It doesn't deserve it.) is....


That dumb little baby that was , "Sent from heaven above" is such a brat! First of all I think most people don't know the difference between heaven, and the underworld. (I've been studying Greek Mythology...) That little kid is flying around with arrows-Which may I add, so shouldn't be given to a 2 year old!-Shooting whoever he spots and then BOOM, they're in love. BLAH I say! BLAH! Why does he get to decide who gets to like who? Aren't we smart enough to choose? Or are we...I don't know I just hate that kid! I think I'm gonna go give him a piece of my mind. (It's piece not peace. I don't want to make peace I want to make that baby into pieces.) Well off I go!


Okay, the whole Cupid thing didn't go as planned. I "accidentally" grabbed his arrows and shot him, thinking he would fall in love with the rock in front of him. But no... Apparently the arrows don't work on him. With most people they are love arrows, with Cupid himself, they are death arrows....

Is it to late for sorry?


Jodee said...

Like mother like daughter. A very entertaining read.

Luisa Perkins said...

The love apple does not fall far from the tree. Excellent!

Stephanie Humphreys said...

So funny! I love it.

Krista said...

Hee hee hee. Oh, that's so great.

Cheri Chesley said...

I'm with Bob on this one! That was great :)

Lara Neves said...

Totally too late for sorry.


That was AWESOME! My favorite is that valentine's day doesn't deserve to be capitalized.

It's crazy for me to even imagine my 4th grade daughter ever writing something like that. Her mind just doesn't work that way. But she sure does play a mean fiddle. :)

Karlene said...

Hilarious! Loved it,.

* said...

LOVE! Whoof! Most excellent!!

My nephew started a blog. He's 10 years old. I'm thinking about my kids starting one now. Thanks for the nudge.

PS: Happy Valentinesy weekend! Just hide your arrows from your cupid!

Mel Chesley said...

OMGoodness! ::Laughs so hard she cries::
That was absolutely priceless!

Jenny P. said...

Goodness gracious, that was funny. How much fun it must be to have blossoming writers in the house. :)

Melanie Jacobson said...

How old is this kid? That was hilarious!

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

Bwahahaha! "Bob" is a hoot!

Evelyn said...

I floated over from MMB. What a clever funny funny child! So funny to see love from a tweens POV...or from their imaginary friends POV...? Either way: hilarious!

Jessica G. said...

Bob needs his own fan page on Facebook. I would join in a heartbeat!

Tammie said...

Oh my I laughed when I read it. She's quite creative and I agree with Jessica, I think Bob needs a fan page!

Anonymous said...

Aside from just being HILARIOUS, this is JUST how I feel about Valentines day! =]


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