Thursday, March 12, 2009

Winners #3 & Lurkers I Didn't Know I Knew

First, the important business of the day: the latest giveaway winners!

If you haven't entered yet or still want to get more entries, it's not too late. Visit the GIVEAWAY POST for details. Friday midnight MDT is the deadline to be part of the grand prize drawing.

1) The winner of the April Showers personal blog header is Mrs. Darling!

2) Sandra's Urban Botanics bath and lotion gift set in the White Pearl scent (inspired by Tower of Strength) goes to Wonder Woman!

3) And finally, the lucky person who gets Rebecca Irvine's new family scripture study CD, Adventures with the Word of God, is Taffy!

Congratulations, everyone! More prizes tomorrow!


Now, today's post. Lurkers, beware.

With one exception, if you don't comment, I don't know you're reading my blog.

I know my parents read it (Hi, Mom and Dad!). It's one way they have of keeping up with what's going on in my life while they're out of the country. Once in a while, they'll drop me an e-mail about a post, but otherwise, I just assume they're reading.

But for everyone else? No. Clue.

I have no idea which neighbors might be reading it. (Does my Relief Society president read it? G, you tell me!) Who else in my ward might be reading it? What about high school buddies?

I go into most situations assuming whoever I'm talking to doesn't read my blog. (I mean, heck, I'm not the size of Scribbit or CJane or anything. Why would I assume someone's read it?)

But here's the deal: Apparently I have many close friends who read my blog but don't comment. Total strangers leave more comments (thank you, thank you!) than people I've known since childhood.

Why? I don't get it.

Since I assume people don't hang out here at The Lyon's Tale, I've run into embarrassing situations. I'm rather good at that.

I'll be talking to someone in the ward or a friend I haven't seen in months, and we'll get chatting. Suddenly I'm reminded of something that happened recently and I'm telling the story to them.

They start nodding, and then they interrupt. "Oh, yeah. I know. That was so funny. I read it."

Wait, what? Oh, yeah. I blogged about that. And this person read it?

Cool, I guess. But I didn't know they read my blog. Because they didn't leave a comment.

We start talking about something else, and invariably, the same thing happens:

"Yeah, I know. It's on your blog."

It's a bit maddening.

First off, if you're one of these people (and you so know who you are . . .), why not comment? It's a nice way of saying hi. As an added bonus, I'd avoid looking dumb by retelling stories you already know.

Or next time you see me, just mention that you were on my blog so I don't start getting all redundant on you.

But there's another issue: Why am I apparently repeating myself so much? Do I seriously have nothing to talk about besides things I've already shared here? My life is bigger than my blog, I promise.

Maybe it's that writing things down makes the experience more real, more cemented in my brain so the things I talk about here take center stage. Maybe.

Or maybe it's that I tend to be a little private here about some areas of my life. Yeah, that's it.

Either that, or I'm a really boring person.

Hmmm. I'll take the first two.

Now comment already, lurker people who I know in real life!

Today's tour stop:

Superfluous Miscellany

38 comments:

LisAway said...

I know. Once strangers started reading and commenting on my blog my family stopped (at least with the commenting). Oh well. I just wish that they would do more blogging themselves!

wonder woman said...

YAY!!!! I am so excited!! Thanks, Annette!!

And you should know, the SAME THING has happened to me with lurkers. I have one of those traffic feeds, which helps. Usually it says they just came from google (my profile) but sometimes I see that they've come from their own blog. I, in turn, stalk them. But I do try to leave at least a comment or two, so they know that it's okay to leave a comment.

Maddening is a very accurate term.

CaJoh said...

Its the same reason why my friends don't write letters either. I don't know what it is, but there are some people who just don't.

I always say "the story's in the telling" and sometimes hearing a story live is a lot more entertaining and fulfilling than reading it.

Shauna said...

Congrats to the winners :) ♥ Hugs!

Kristina P. said...

Every person I have talked to who know has a decent stranger following, lost a lot of their family and friends who comment. I have like 3 family/friends who comment regularly.

My SIL did until a couple of weeks ago, and I don't know where she went! It is sort of weird when you find out someone reads your blog that you know.

Mr Darling said...

I am so thrilled!!! Thank you, Annette!!!!

And I agree about lurkers. My MIL does this to me and it drives me NUTS!

Becky said...

Maybe they just like being voyeuristic and leaving comments interferes with that. I have the same problem with my blog.

SO said...

*sob* I'm a loser again today.

I had a lady in my ward tell me that she reads but doesn't comment and I had no idea. I told her to comment and she did just the other day.

Lara said...

I have recently discovered that half my ward reads my blog, but I had no idea.

Real life friends who aren't into the blogging thing just don't quite get it as far as commenting goes. They've always been hit and miss commenters, but it seems even more so when others started reading my blog more faithfully. Oh well, that's how it goes.

Julie P said...

That's so funny and it happens to me and I always feel funny when it does. I don't know if people read my blog (or even know it exists) and I don't want to assume that anyone actually does. :)

Kimberly said...

I use a stat counter so while I don't know, I am suspicious. Many, many readers from my hometown...

For me, when choosing what to share anecdote wise on my blog I tend to go with what I think is funniest, sweetest, most thought-provoking, whatever the case may be. So naturally I like to tell those stories in person as well.

It really is troubling when they're eyes glaze over a bit and they assure you they read it already.

Sigh.

CountessLaurie said...

Hi. My name is Laurie and I am a lurker. But NOT ANYMORE! Today, I am here to say I am reading your blog. And I keep seeing your pic all over the blogs I read. You are twins with someone I know, so I think that is why I notice you more often.

I only recently started with my blog, so I haven't gotten many comments. I asked my husband why he didn't leave comments and he said it's because he doesn't know what to say. (I told him to tell me I was brilliant...sheesh :-) So, maybe that is the reason. I don't think they get it. If you have a blog, you are more likely to get it.

Anyway, I will lurk less and comment more. And I have been learning a lot about your book from all the promotions going on at other blogs. Like it has a snowball fight. And smooching. I love smooching :-)

earlfam said...

I don't always comment. And honestly, I don't like to feel obligated to comment. Sometimes I just don't have anything to say. I read I'm entertained, but there just isn't anything to say. Or everyone else has already said what I would have said, and I don't like to be redundant. I don't think it's a reflection on the post. Some of the posts I've enjoyed most have left me with nothing to say. Or I have so much to say that it would be a blog in itself which seems rude and presumptuous.

Remember that some people are writers and some people are readers (and some people are both-but not everyone is both). Making people feel uncomfortable about not commenting will probably not make them start commenting, it will probably make them stop reading.

I think you'll notice that most of your comments come from other bloggers, who understand how important comments are to you. But if you want non-bloggers to read, they need to feel like they can do that without some obligation to contribute.

P.S. I've never actually read your blog before, I just saw that it was about lurkers and so I thought I would put on the hat of "Blog Lurker Spokesman" and make sure we were represented. But now I feel like I've been confrontational and rude and I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean it.

Sue said...

I can always tell the people at church who read my blog, because they're usually giggling when they look at me. A lot of them will lean over and whisper something about the last thing I posted. I feel kind of like the ward cartoon character.

None of them comment, but some of them email me or comment on Facebook, or call me. One older lady in the ward calls me every time I post to tell me how much she enjoyed it (or didn't). After the last post (where I talk about pouring Coke on my husband's head), she called and gave me the scolding of my life. I love it.

My friend Christina (who doesn't blog, but reads faithfully) told me that leaving a comment feels too public. (Heavens, what must they think of my boundaries...)

Jami said...

Hey, Annette, I not only read your blog. I read your book too. :)

Jenn said...

Yea to the winners. I got your email, thanks for letting me be involved.
The sun is shining today.

Scarlet Knight said...

I have to admit *head hung low* I'm a new lurker, but I'm not in your ward (does that make me a stalker instead of a lurker?)

Either way, love your blog!

Motherboard said...

Recently someone told me that I was the topic of conversation at her extended family party... They were all commenting on my blog posts... It sort of creeped my out.

I find it really weird when random people refer to my kids by their blog nicknames-- and I had no idea they were reading my blog.

Good times indeed.

I rarely comment. It is too much work to click over from Google reader. ;>

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I can't believe I didn't WIN the header!!! This thing is rigged! lol!

About your post...that happens to me all the time...stinks...and sometimes it's embarrassing because I tell of really EMBARRASSING things on my blog!

Tink said...

You have such fun giveaways! Congrats to all who've won! I totally know what you mean on the commenting thing. Shauna and I have talked about this in the past--the people who know and love us the best don't comment or even read our blogs; but complete strangers do! We don't get it and probably never will. Sometimes I wonder that if they are new to the blogging world if they don't know how to work the "comments". You kow, where to click and how to put your name in, etc.

Heidi Ashworth said...

It sounds like it is fairly common. Maybe people who know you in person feel like your blog is just an aspect of you and it certainly isn't their only chance to talk with you. Whereas, your friends you have never met (like moi) see this as the main means of connection. Anyway, it's the same for me and my blog.

Annette Lyon said...

Earlfam, I totally get what you're saying--and I agree. I lurk on several blogs. But these aren't best friends' blogs or my sister's blog or something like that.

And most of the post, really, was tongue-in-cheek. :)

Scartlet Knight, same goes for you--I love lurkers. I just wish peole who shared the same DNA or know stories about me from high school would drop a line now and again.

I get why they don't, but it's an odd phenomenon.

LexiconLuvr said...

I should be a lurker. I talk too much. =]

JustRandi said...

I agree!! I've called people on it, and they tell me it's intimidating to comment.
REALLY??

Because it's kinda creepy-stalkerish NOT to comment!

An Ordinary Mom said...

One day I will meet you in person and you will know I read your blog because I comment WAY too often :) !!

hi, it's me! melissa c said...

The more I read your blog, the more I feel we are kindred spirits. I swear, I feel the very same as you on so many subjects.

I have no idea if my family reads my blog. Once in a great while, one will comment, but mostly...it's nada.

I LOVE reading the comments and I know you do too. I hate it when I come across someone who's read my post but says nothing. I agree...why not?

So, I just want to pass on that I love you blog. It's fun to read and I will make a point of visiting more often. And just so you know, if I commente, then I read it. I NEVER read and not comment. So, have a good one darlin'!

Jordan (MamaBlogga) said...

I have the same thing happen to me at church. Only my friends then proceed to tell me what they would have said, had they commented. I'm sitting there thinking, "What, is your keyboard broken?!"

Sigh. People!

@AnOrdinaryMom—oh hey! Someone who actually comments on my blog, too! Hooray!

Janelle said...

Hey Annette, I'm a friend of Cheryl's and she has been sending us over here quite a bit lately.

My philosophy on lurking:

Lurking is shirking!

LeeAnn said...

Annette, I agree! I understand too, but it is really nice to get feedback sometimes.

Here's my list of "reasons" people lurk. (Was that an inappropriate use of quotation marks?)

1. They don't know what to say.
2. They have read that people leave comments to get people to click on their link so they come read their blog, and they don't really want to do that.
3. Lots of folks have limited ways that you can leave a comment, such as requiring a Blogger account or something.
4. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone (or comment as the case may be) if you don't know them.

I am guilty of all of the above at times, and I probably comment too much here. But then, you're a stranger to me and I'll probably never meet you so it's safe to comment. How's that for convoluted reasoning?

amelia said...

It bugs me too. Just comment and say "hi!" It doesn't need to be lengthy or witty! And I always think it's a little awkward when people bring up my posts in real life...

Jenna Consolo said...

Yay for your winners!

Yeah, I know about that lurking thing...the number of comments on my blog does NOT jive with the number of hits it gets according to my trackers. Why not say hi, right? I always leave comments on people's blogs because I want CREDIT for being there! But that's the kind of girl I am, I guess. I just want credit. :)

TmeggenT said...

Okay, Annette, you caught me! I will fully admit that I am in the category of lurkers who should NOT be so anonymous. For the record, I check your blog every week. But obviously, it is rare that I comment. So, today I will comment on every blog I read---just for penance! °Ü° And, I'll drop you a comment line occasionally from here on out! Love you, woman! And, I love your blog, too!

Annette Lyon said...

I won, I won, I won!!!

Meggen's in the category of people who knew me when I wore shoulder pads and had big hair.

Thanks for commenting. (I need to see you more often in person.)

Rebecca said...

I don't know if anyone in my ward does on a regular basis, but I know that at least a couple of people have. I put my website on Facebook and got a couple of hits on there. Not that I'm a comment hoarder or anything, but it frustrating to get all of 20 visits but about 5 comments.

I tend to visit people I know in real life once in a while when I blog hop, but I don't comment mostly unless I read them often. Then I feel obligated.

Summer said...

I know EXACTLY what you mean. It is so weird to me that the people I know in real life pretty much never comment. I started my blog expecting them to be a big part of it and instead strangers were. But I've met some really neat people because of that.

Heffalump said...

My real life friends and family don't bother to comment on my blog either.
I try to comment each time I come by here, but it has been a busy couple of weeks, so I have been a bit tempted to skip over the commenting here and there. I hope you don't mind!

Alison Wonderland said...

Just because I usually comment I'm not going to here, so I can lurk on your de-lurk day.

Wait... oh shoot!

Luisa Perkins said...

You're definitely not alone in that lurkers-you-don't-know business.