Banned Books Week

It's Banned Books Week.

For readers, writers, teachers, and parents, that should mean something. And it's not that we should be cheering for books to be yanked off shelves, either.

I'm the first person to raise their hand if there's a conversation about how some books are garbage, how I don't want my kids reading that, how I won't read such-and-such, for that matter.

But I want the right to make those choices for myself and for my family. No one else has the right to choose for me.

Based on the choices others have tried to make in banning books for other people's "good," censorship is a very dangerous road. A look at some of the most banned classics stunned me. It includes several of my all-time favorite novels. It also includes some I hate, but I don't think they should be banned.

Children's books in particular tend to get under fire, as well-meaning (at least, we hope) adults put their noses into parents' business and make the parenting decisions on our behalf.

One of the most currently banned books Scholastic publishes is well-loved in our house: Captain Underpants. (We've bought the entire series twice because the books were so loved they fell apart.)

I have a special place in my heart for Dav Pilkey's work. They were the first "real" books my son ever read on his own, cover to cover. Sure, they have lots of goofy potty humor and misspellings.

So what? They got my son reading. He laughed and had fun and advanced to harder and deeper books (without potty humor and misspellings!). Today he's a high-school junior who still reads a lot (much more advanced stuff). He has a great vocabulary, is a great writer, and, in my totally unbiased opinion, is a brilliant student.

Had I taken away his favorite books back when he was six and insisted he read Tom Sawyer when he simply wasn't ready for a classic like that, I think that today he'd hate reading and wouldn't have the academic success he has today.

And that would be a travesty.

One of my favorite posts about Banned Books Week is by Dan Wells, a great writer and a friend of mine. Read it. Here. Now.

Then go check out some lists of banned books . . . and then be really rebellious and read one.

I'm betting you already have.

WNW: Grammar as Currency

On last week's Word Nerd Wednesday, Jordan McCollum made a comment about how the "needs washed" usage can be considered standard if you live in an area where it is, well, standard.

We exchanged some emails about what constitutes "standard" and acceptable as far as English goes. I don't want to put words into Jordan's mouth, and she can always write about her opinion on the issue, but I thought the topic was worth addressing in a WNW post.

Here's my basic opinion on standard English and the "rules," keeping in mind that while I love language and am a total nerd about it, I am not an expert, nor a linguist. And Jordan has studied linguistics.

However, my dad is a linguist (I think word nerdery is genetic). We talk about this kind of stuff a lot, and I think it's largely thanks to his influence that I don't get overly annoyed by a lot of so-called grammatical mistakes in conversation or other casual settings, like emails and blog posts. I don't even care that on Twitter, there's a search feature for "Who to Follow" instead of "Whom."

For that matter, sometimes I find myself enjoying differences in speech patterns, as it's a peek into a different culture.

There was the time Dr. Oaks taught about how some people pronounce an R sound after an A, resulting in words like warshed instead of washed. I'd never heard anyone pronounce it like that, but lo and behold, just a few months later, I met a family who did. They warshed their warsh rags in the warshing machine.

I was fascinated. Dr. Oaks was right! How cool.

Jordan has a point that what's acceptable usage varies from area to area. I'd say that since such a huge portion of the world speaks English as a native language, you'll find variations within every country (and state) that speaks English. There's bound to be a wide range of what's considered okay in any one place.

On top of what's considered standard, most people speak in several "registers," meaning they slip into and out of various ways of talking depending on the context. So I'd use far more formal language when teaching a writing workshop than I would when chatting with my sister.

Another example: While we were dating, my husband mentioned how differently I spoke when I was around my high-school friends. At first I balked at the idea, saying that I didn't just change who I was when they showed up. But I watched myself after that, and his observation was right. My group of friends from that era had its own tone and even slang. It was natural to slip into it when around them and then slip out of it like a light jacket when I walked away. So natural I didn't notice I was doing it.

I've heard of corporate professionals who speak one way most of their days but then visit their parents back in the Bronx (or the Deep South or some other place) for Christmas and by New Year's, they're talking with a heavier accent again and using colloquial phrases they'd almost forgotten about.

This is normal. This if perfectly fine.

AND YET. (You could hear that coming, couldn't you?)

The standard exists for a reason. It's a collection of agreed-upon rules that marks what is expected of educated people in our culture. If you are educated, you're expected to know these rules.

In a social (and even economic) sense, standard English is the currency we use in our interactions.

That means it's valued. If you decide not to use it, fine. Just know that your language may prevent you from using the same currency, communicating (and succeeding!) in a way others who do use the standard will by default.

Because the standard is such a huge currency, it's a good idea to follow any rule in a situation that values the currency.

If you used their as a singular possessive pronoun in a resume, you may know that it's gradually becoming accepted usage, but a potential boss may not, thinking it's still a standard rule. The potential employer, knowing the currency of standard English, may well assume you don't know correct grammar and therefore aren't as smart or capable as you really are.

Just like you'd never wear a swim suit or pajamas to a job interview, you need to use the right language in the right settings to be taken seriously.

I've mentioned this idea before, particularly how a student called Dr. Oaks out on it, asking why we couldn't just turn in our papers using our regional dialects if they aren't inherently any more inferior or "wrong" than the standard.

Dr. Oaks just laughed and basically said, "Because you're at a university, that's why. Part of your education is to learn how to communicate using the standard dialect and then prove you know it in your writing."

In today's technological world, where pretty much everyone is required to communicate with the written word in virtually any job (even at McDonald's), knowing the rules and expectations goes a very, very long way.

As we shoot forward into the electronic future, it's going to be more and more important for our kids to have the currency they need to succeed, and that means knowing the standard language so they can communicate effectively, be taken seriously (as smart and capable!), and, frankly, to get ahead in life.

I've seen too many cases where someone uses their regional dialect in a setting where it simply isn't appropriate or welcome. The person is brushed off as incompetent or even unintelligent.

Sure, you can always fight back by saying that the people who judge you based on your language are wrong, narrow-minded, and not so smart themselves.

And you may be right.

But being right isn't going to get you the job.

Author Interview: Abel Keogh

Today I get to interview fellow LDStorymakers member and writer, Abel Keogh, who has a new book out. He's a copywriter by day, and a creative writer by night (or by free time, as the case may be).

About Abel:

At the age of 26, Abel Keogh unexpectedly found himself a young widower. When he decided to starting dating again, he looked in vain for resources that could help guide him through the dating waters and open his heart to someone else. He found nothing. As he began blogging about his experiences, women dating widowers began emailing him asking for his thoughts on their situations. As the numbers of emails increased, Abel started writing his own dating a widower advice column. In Dating a Widower Abel shares the knowledge he’s learned from his own experience and the most common issues he’s seen from hundreds of emails from women dating widowers.

Abel is also the author of the memoir Room for Two—the story of the year of his life following his late wife’s suicide—and the novel The Third. He and his wife Julianna are the parents of three boys and two girls.

Since I get this a lot, before we get into the interview, let's start with his last name: It's pronounced KEY-OH.

Here's our discussion about Dating a Widower:

AL: Professionally you’ve worked as a technical and marketing writer for hi-tech organizations. You’ve also published a memoir, a novel, and now you have a self-help book. What is your favorite type of writing? Why?

AK: I really enjoy the challenge that comes with fiction. Creating new worlds, believable characters, and complex plot is fun but difficult. Non-fiction is easy for me to write. I’m not sure why—maybe it has something to do with my professional background. But being able to write a good novel is an absolute thrill. I’m in awe of those writers who can do it well.

AL: What prompted you to write Dating a Widower?

AK: I’ve received hundreds of emails from women dating widowers over the last five years finally and realized that there really was nothing in the market to help these women—especially form a male point of view. I started to meet the demand by writing a weekly column but my readers kept asking for a book so I took a couple weeks and wrote one.

AL: You’ve published two books traditionally with a small press and received a publishing contract for Dating a Widower. Why did you turn down the contract and decide to self-publish this book?

AK: Turning down the contract was a difficult decision—one that took over a month to make. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had a corner on the market and a fairly big audience that was eager for the book. I wasn’t sure that a publisher could reach the audience any better than I could, so self-publishing seemed like the best option. I knew going at it on my own was going to take a lot of extra work but had the potential for lots of reward that wouldn’t come going the traditional route. As of now, I’m happy with my decision.

AL: What is your typical writing schedule like?

AK: Most of my writing is done at night after the kids are in bed. On the weekends I can usually sneak in a few more hours early in the morning. I wish I had more time, but there are responsibilities that come with being a husband and father that take priority.

AL: What are some of the differences you’ve found in writing a book of non-fiction versus fiction?

AK: Unless you’re writing a memoir, there are a lot of things you don’t have to worry about when writing non-fiction. For example, you don’t have to worry about plot twists or whether there’s enough tension in the plot to keep the reader turning the pages. At their core, however, fiction and non-fiction both need a solid outline, clear concise writing, and meet the needs of the target audience in order to succeed.


AL: What challenges does self-publishing bring with it? What are the benefits?

AK: The biggest challenge is producing a product that just as good, if not better,than a regular publisher. From what I seen most self-published books still have a lot of quality issues such as typos and other mistakes any competent editor would catch. In addition most have poorly designed, amateur-looking covers. If you’re going to self-publishing and want to succeed, the packaging and the product has got to be first-rate.

The biggest reward, so far, is seeing the final product and being very pleased with it. I believe I did as good a job as any publisher could have done with it. The final verdict, of course, will be up to the book’s target audience. After looking at the sales numbers in a couple months I should know whether the packaging and content did their job.


AL:What's been the biggest surprise about the self-publishing process?

AK:The amount of work involved. I knew it was going to be time consuming but I didn’t realize how time consuming. I had to put a fiction project completely on hold for two months in order to get Dating a Widower done right.

AL: What are the most common questions you get from women dating widowers?

AK: The two big ones are 1) how long does it take for a widower to move on? and 2) when will he take down all the pictures of the late wife? (The answers to those questions are 1) It varies from person to person, but when the widower finds the right person, he’ll stop grieving and 2) as soon as he’s really ready to make room in his heart for you, the photos will come down.)


AL: Which authors are your biggest literary influences in the national market?

AK: Lee Child, Michael Connelly, and Robert Crais.

AL: In the LDS market?

AK: Tristi Pinkston, Gregg Luke, and Orson Scott Card. (Yes, I know Card publishes nationally, but in my mind he’s never stopped being an LDS writer.)

AL: Any advice for aspiring authors?

AK: There’s never been a better time to be a writer. The number of options and opportunities that are available to authors today are simply unbelievable. Authors can go the traditional route, self-publish and still get their books distributed through the world’s biggest bookstores, or do both. The eBook world has also revived the short story market—something I’m personally glad to see. How the new world of publishing will sort itself out remains to be seen, but I’m optimistic that, for authors, it’s only going to get better.

Read the first chapter HERE.

Buy Dating a Widower
on on the Kindle ($2.99)
on the Nook ($2.99)
or in paperback ($8.99).

Contact Abel via Twitter: @AbelKeogh, on his Facebook PAGE, or visit Abel's blog here.

WNW: Needs Washed. Twitch.

Recently, Mignon Fogarty (known as Grammar Girl, the author of the book I talked about in last week's Word Nerd Wednesday) asked her readers on Facebook to help her pinpoint a geographical trend in speech.

It's a quirk and (yes, I'll say it) an error that puzzles me, but I hear it often enough.

I don't know where it hails from. I get the idea that it's particularly common the Midwest, but I've seen people use it who are from all over the place, from California to Florida and in between.

As we usually do here on WNW, the grammatical "back story" first:

A direct object is something a verb modifies, or refers to.

Amy drank milk.

Brandon eats candy.

Here, milk and candy are the direct objects. They're what the verbs (drank, eats) refer to.

Direct objects are nouns.

A refresher: What's a noun? A person, place or thing.

A noun is NOT an adjective or a state of being.

For the goofiness of it (because it'll show the quirk later), let's turn one of the direct objects above into an adjective. Let's see how well that works:

Adjective: Amy drank red.

Okay, that doesn't work at all. You could add something to it so it makes sense, like, oh A NOUN after RED (which we needed all along, right?):

Amy drank red punch.

Let's try it with a state of being:

Brandon eats washed.

Granted, that's beyond silly. But it shows that a state of being, or in this case, a past-tense verb, simply can't work here. It doesn't make sense. You couldn't come up with another set of verb + direct object where a state of being works. Those just don't go together.

How about this state of being:

The turkey is cooked.

See, now that works. Why? We aren't using a verb that requires a direct object.

The sentence is constructed to explain the state of being the turkey is in, using the key word IS. So we don't need a direct object that the verb refers to. The turkey just IS.

You can ask, "The turkey is what?" and the answer is clear: "The turkey is cooked."

But what if the turkey isn't cooked yet, and you need to tell someone to put the turkey into the oven? You could start out with stating the situation of the turkey:

"The turkey isn't cooked."

Or just say what needs to happen. NEED is a verb that requires a direct object. Refresher: a direct object is a NOUN, right?

So: Ready for the quiz?

The turkey needs . . . WHAT?

Well, it's raw. We aren't saying the turkey needs a hat or a box. But we do need a noun, and it needs to be an action, although a verb won't do. (Because verbs aren't nouns!)

BUT you can "noun-ify" verbs in two ways:

1) Add -ING to the end. The turkey needs cooking.

2) ADD "TO BE" before it. The turkey needs to be cooked.

Here's where I get all a-twitching. I see people say things like this all the time:

The car needs washed.

Who needs tickled?

**Direct objects are NOUNS. Past-tense verbs aren't nouns.**

So these are correct:

The car needs TO BE washed.

The car needs WASHING.

Who needs TO BE tickled?

Who needs TICKLING?

The turkey needs TO BE cooked.

The turkey needs COOKING.

I let some things slide with my kids, rules that are gradually going away and may seem antiquated (who/whom, can/may), but stuff like this is absolutely crazy-making to my ear.

Interview & Contest: Josi Kilpack

Up today: An interview with one of the coolest people on the planet, and a dear, dear friend.

I'm excited to announce two things in conjunction with her interview:

1) The release of Pumpkin Roll, the sixth book in the Sadie Hoffmiller culinary mystery series:

and

2) A contest to WIN an iPad. Fer reals, peeps.

About the author:

Josi S. Kipack hated reading until her mother handed her a copy of The Witch of Blackbird Pond when she was 13. From that day forward, she read everything she could get her hands on and credits her writing education to the many novels she has studied since then. She began writing her first novel in 1998 and never stopped. Sheep's Clothing (2007) won the Whitney Award for Best Mystery/Suspense. Lemon Tart, the first book in the Sadie Hoffmiller Culinary Mystery series, was a Whitney finalist in 2009. Josi currently lives in Willard, Utah, with her husband, four children, one dog, and a varying number of chickens.

Additional notes from me: Josi's cell phone ring is the sound of chickens, and Josi adores chocolate-covered cinnamon bears. She's also one of the four authors (with me!) of the upcoming Newport Ladies Book Club series.

***Our interview***

AL: You started your writing career with issue-driven books (prescription drug abuse, internet predators, infertility, etc.). How is writing culinary mysteries different?

JK: It’s a lot more different than I thought it would be when I started. For one thing, this was the first time I’d ever written a book with only one point of view character. There’s also specific expectations associated with Cozy mysteries—culinary mysteries are Cozies with a specific expectation in regard to story arc and character. I’ve had to learn about so many new things.


AL: Any similarities?
JK: This series is not different in regard to developing a character people hopefully care about and a plot that challenges that character to grow. AND, I still manage to work in an issue here and there :-)

AL: How do you go about approaching each new story to keep things fresh and interesting?

JK: Panic and pray and write, write, write. I write, I cut, I write some more, cut some more, and eventually mold something new. I’m mindful of trying not to repeat plot lines, motives, twists, and character types which gets harder every time but so far is working out after much stress and many Coke slurpees.

AL: With your Sadie mysteries, how do you come up with the type of murder and motivations each time?

JK: I watch a lot of TV and movies. A LOT!

AL: What research did you have to do for Pumpkin Roll in particular?

JK: I’d never been to Boston before, which made it intimidating to set a book there. I had hoped to go before my deadline, but that didn’t turn out, so I had to rely on friends, travel guides, websites, and movies and TV shows set in Boston—did I already mention I watch a lot of TV and movies? I also spent a lot of time researching ghost sightings and metaphysical beliefs and objects—lots of education there.

AL: What is your typical writing schedule like?

JK: I fantasize about a schedule. *sigh* Alas, I am a frantic writer these days. I try to plug writing in anywhere I have room. My most effective writing these days is when I can leave my family in the hands of my husband and escape to the office building of our business. I try to do this once a week and write from about 5:00 p.m. 'til midnight. I can get a lot done, and if I know I have it scheduled that week, I don’t feel as neurotic about it. In addition to my writing, I have four kids and do the bookkeeping for our business. Life is chaotic.

AL: Your career started out with a smaller niche publisher and has gone on to be with a much larger publisher and a successful series with a large fan base. What is one big thing you've learned throughout your career?

JK: That you can never stop learning and growing. Not only within your writing, but in your own personal development. If you stop experiencing life, you’ll run out of ideas, and if you at any time think you know it all, prepare to be sideswiped with something that reminds you otherwise. Writing should be a part of your life that helps makes it better, and your life should be a part of your writing that makes it better too. Every goal you reach will lead to a new goal you’ll need to set. There will always be set backs, there will always be frustrations, but the pursuit has been a worthwhile one for me.

AL: What's been the biggest surprise about the journey?

JK: The amazing people I’ve met. I never imagined that there were as many neurotic people driven by the stories in their head :-) But my best friends are people I’ve met through my writing, and it has enriched my life more than the writing ever could. If someone would have told me that before I started, I wouldn’t have seen how the connections would happen, but they’ve become a priceless part of my journey, which just goes to show you that you’ll never know where your ambitions might take you.

AL: Any advice for aspiring authors?

JK: Allow yourself failures and be honest in your evaluation of them. Find people who will tell you the truth and always look for ways to improve and grow your abilities. Keep perspective that writing should be a part of your life, but don’t stop living in the meantime. Surround yourself with inspiring people and things and work, work, work.

*****And now for the iPad contest!*****

In conjunction with the release of Pumpkin Roll, Josi and her publisher, Shadow Mountain, are sponsoring a contest for a new iPad.

To enter, simply leave a comment in the comment section of this post before
November 1, 2011. Winners will be announced and notified November 3, 2011.

For additional ways to enter (and there are many), visit Josi's website.

Get the book in paperback, audio, and Kindle formats HERE.

WNW: Grammar Girl Writes

Today's Word Nerd Wednesday post isn't what I expected it to be. I had two of Grammar Girl's books. One was really short. Surely discussion on both books would fit into a single post, right?

So I started with the (short) first one, Grammar Girl's 101 Words Every High School Graduate Needs to Know, by Mignon Fogarty. (If you haven't stopped by to check her out, you must.)

I jotted notes and thoughts on my bookmark (a business card). I didn't think I'd need more room than that. I did. Let's just say that I'll have to talk about the other book another time, because one post simply won't do them justice.

When I first flipped through 101 Words, a few entries caught my eye. (Glacier? Really?) I wondered why Fogarty had included them in a list of words of importance for high school grads. Then I read it. Now I get it. (Yes, glacier. Really.)

The words in this book aren't necessarily ones that high school grads will know if they did their homework. I've seen similar lists for high school grads, and they usually do include boring stuff like hypothesis that grads should know when they get a diploma.

This one's different. If incoming college students knows these words, they'll be a step ahead in cultural literacy and understanding the world around them, whether it's the news, politics and what the politicians are saying (or calling each other), technology (important in today's world), science (ditto), or even pop culture.

The book has a fun tone. It's a quick and easy read with lots of white space (easy on the eyes) and humorous drawings. The words are alphabetical, and every letter of the alphabet gets at least one.

A few of my favorites:

• galaxy (New etymology for me.)
• ironic (Please, please, people! Learn this one and use it correctly.)
• epic (And not just as "epic fail.")
• mandate (I love how its got a history that's the reverse of verbification of nouns.)
• canard (New word for me.)
• ad hominem (A must-know for election years.)
• Romance languages (Before, I could have told you what they are, but I didn't know why until now.)
• ubiquitous (I love a good word joke, and you'll find one here.)

The explanations are easy to understand, and each word gets a quotation to show how it's used. I really enjoyed these; they're totally entertaining. She quotes classics like Shakespeare and Jane Austen, contemporaries like Dave Berry and Obama, and even fictional characters like The Simpsons and House. (The 101st word quotes someone many of my readers will perk up at: Ezra Taft Benson.)

In the end, if you read the whole thing, you'll get more than 101 words, because several entries include opposites and related words.

This is one I'll be keeping on my shelf. And making my teens read.

*I received a copy of the book from the publisher. Opinions are entirely my own. I have standing policy of not reviewing books unless I have personally contacted the author with that intent.

WNW: The English Ear

(Fun news at the end of the post; don't miss it!)

A couple of years ago, I posted a funky mind bender that messes with your head, or, rather, your ear. I talked about how, to understand language, your mind needs to know when one word ends and the next begins.

I used this pseudo-nursery rhyme as an example of messing that up so you can't figure out what's being said:

Maresy dotes'n dosey dotes'n littel amsy divie.

The answer to that one is in THIS POST.

After that, several people told me about the great game Mad Gab, which works off this same principle: one team reads a garbled (but famous) phrase off a card and tries to figure out what it really means. The person holding the card knows the meaning. And I can tell you, it's wild playing Mad Gab; as the person holding the card, you think your team has said the phrase, only they don't know what they said.

The other day, my friend Robison Wells posted a link on Twitter to something that reminded me of this concept but in a different way.

Here's a song from an Italian television show that's nothing but gibberish . . . but it's deliberately written to sound like English.

The freaky thing: it totally sounds like English.

I've watched it few times now, and it's always the same: my brain twists into pretzels trying to understand the lyrics. It's as if my mind recognizes the sounds and thinks the singers are really saying something . . . but they're not.

It's sheer brilliance. Enjoy!

Note: You can find a "subtitle" version on YouTube as well. I don't recommend watching it; it's not actually subtitles; it's what one person thinks the song sounds like, putting English words into the gibberish. To me, the so-called subtitles don't sound right.

FUN NEWS:

You'll want to check out the newest writing podcast, specifically about middle-grade books. It's called Wordplay, and the three hosts are awesome: critique group member J. Scott Savage, James Dashner, and Nathan Bransford. (You read that right.)

Hey, I'm Still a Mom!

Awhile back, I got on a frugal kick. My efforts included signing up for newsletters and going to blogs aimed at helping mothers save money.

They included freebies, coupons, giveaways, announcements of sales, and so forth. I was quite excited over the prospect of getting great deals and saving money for our family.

But as the months went on, I found these lists less and less useful. As the mother of four, how is that possible?

Turns out that these money-saving services aren't really aimed at mothers in general. They're aimed at new mothers, women with children who cannot use the toilet, feed themselves, or read.

If I still had the need for cheap diapers, strollers, board books, car seats, booster seats, high chairs, building blocks, bibs, bath toys, and videos with bouncing shapes and characters singing mind-numbing songs, I'd be having a ball.

But I don't, and I'm not.

See, my children are older than that. They're not only potty trained and can feed themselves, but they also dress themselves, one is learning to drive, another babysits for the neighbors, another is on a dance team, and the youngest steals my Kindle to read novels.

Since these newsletters and blogs are pretty useless to me, I've unsubscribed from several of them and delete the rest. (Those I haven't unsubbed from I hang on to with the dim hope that maybe, just maybe, I'll find something useful.)

I wish they were honest about what they're offering. They are not catering to moms. They're catering to mothers of babies and young children.

Based on their definition, I don't qualify as a mom. But I am most definitely a mom, and if I've learned anything in the sixteen years I've been one, it's that children get more, not less, expensive as they age.

Some ideas (a small but growing list, I'm sure) for making a useful mother's deal site:

• Trade-ins for new jeans in the men's section because your son is having yet another growth spurt and the ones you bought two weeks ago are too short but look brand new.
• By one, get one free, scientific calculators (with a bonus graphing calculator) for teens taking upper math.
• School-supply sales that go beyond crayons and markers (my suggestion: case lot sales for pallets of binders).
• Inexpensive locker decoration ideas (mostly for daughters).
• Frequent-customer punch cards for local orthodontists.
• Make-up sales (again, for teen daughters).
• Rebates where you get college tuition instead of cash.
• Notices on sales for hair products since all the kids now use not just hairspray, but mousse or gel.
• Also sales on shampoo and conditioner, since with puberty, they need to wash their hair more often.
• Giveaways on hair dryers, straighteners, and curling irons (with bonus entries if you have multiple daughters, since those things are dang expensive).
• Two words: free gas.

And finally: deep discounts on massages. For Mom, of course. She needs it.

WNW: Mormon Edition, Take 2

A couple of years ago I did a Mormon Edition for Word Nerd Wednesday, wherein we discussed the proper pronunciation of words like Ensign, Patriarchal, and Melchizedek, and how the phrase "strait and narrow" (meaning tight and narrow, basically synonyms) is constantly misunderstood and referred to as "straight and narrow" (not twisty and narrow). You can read that post HERE.

I thought it might be time for another edition with a few more Mormon-y common mistakes.

Shew

I know this looks like new and threw. That's the reason we often hear pronounced as SHOO.

I pronounced it like that well into my adulthood until someone corrected me. Doubtful, I looked it up, and lo and behold, they were right. It's an archaic spelling of show, but it's still pronounced the same way: show. It uses the same spelling (and sound) that sew does.

Yea/Ye/Yeah

In the scriptures, we see yea. Most people pronounce it correctly (YAY).

Every so often, I'll hear someone pronounce ye (the objective pronoun for you) in the same way. Remember that ye is YEE.

And then in writing, people often try to celebrate with someone else and mean a word that sounds like, "hip-hip-hooray" but spell it like this: yeah!

But yeah is a different word. It means "okay, sure," it's an affirmation.

So: "Did you do your homework?"

"Yeah."

If you want to celebrate, use either yea, or, since you don't mean anything scriptural, yay.

Revelation

The final book of the Bible is singular, not plural. John the Beloved recorded his revelation of the last days, and his book is called Revelation.

It's not RevelationS.

Please and thank you.

Psalms

The book in the Old Testament that has all those pretty songs is the book of Psalms.

However, if you refer to something within the book, you are referring to a specific psalm.

So a citation to the verse that reads, "The Lord is my shepherd" should read like this:

Psalm 23:1

That's singular, because you're referring to a single psalm. It's just like with the D&C: you refer to Section 76. You would never say, "Sections 76."

So it's NOT: Psalms 23:1

(Side note: Try typing "psalm" several times in a post. It'll start looking wrong and wonky.)

"in the name of Thy Son"

This is how we're taught to end prayers, right? THY ("your") makes sense, since we're talking to our Heavenly Father.

But have you ever heard someone end a talk or a testimony this way?

I have, and I don't like it.

This is a grammatical thing, but I mention it more because it's something that bothers me: it's clearly someone being thoughtless about what they're saying rather than truly honoring the Savior's name.

You can tell someone is just throwing out a rote phrase, because it doesn't make sense in context.

Think about it: if you're talking to a congregation, you aren't speaking about their son. So "in the name of Thy Son" makes absolutely no sense in that situation. To me, it's being disrespectful.

Why Kindle?

I got a question over on Twitter the other day.

(Note: If you want to follow me, I'm HERE.)

The question came from Zina over at My Imaginary Blog. Readers here may remember her as the blogger I borrowed the malapropism post from. (She's got a lot more where that come from.)

When I posted the first chapter of my middle-grade fantasy novel, The Golden Cup of Kardak, she was curious as to why I decided to go straight to the Kindle with it.

Since the answer doesn't fit into a 140-character tweet, and because I'm guessing other readers may have the same question, I felt a blog post coming on. So Zina, here's the answer.

But some history first. I now have four e-book titles. I traditionally published seven novels with Covenant. My first two went out of print years ago, and the rights reverted back to me. And then I sat on them, because self-publishing a hard-copy novel is crazy expensive. If you go inexpensive and do the print-on-demand thing, you're unlikely to sell much, and it wasn't worth doing to me.

But when e-books started taking off, I decided to get those books back into reader hands.

So just over a year ago, I did a spit-polish on Lost Without You and made it an e-book.

Note to readers: I always liked my original version of the final scene, so I changed it back (in case readers of the original are wondering, yes, it's different).

It had slow sales at first, but every month increased significantly from the month before.

Then around the first of this year, I put up At the Water's Edge, and shortly after that, my grammar guide, There, Their, They're, both of which I updated a bit. I priced the novels nice and low at $2.99, and the grammar guide at only 99 cents, since it's a small book.

At the urging of colleagues, I'd originally self-published the grammar guide in softback with print-on-demand technology about two years prior. I never had any plans for it to go really big; it was more a labor of love than anything, something to offer to friends, colleagues, conference attendees, and the like. I'd been told many times that I can explain language stuff in a way that's easy to understand. When e-readers became mainstream, it made sense to put it onto the Kindle too.

A bit of NEWS: All three novels are now also available at Smashwords HERE, which supports virtually all e-book readers. You should be able to find them through Barnes & Noble, too. The grammar book will on Smashwords soon as well. If you're a Kindle person, they're all HERE on Amazon.

When I had multiple books out, sales took off significantly. While I'm not getting rich, it's certainly been worth doing.

So back to the question regarding the fantasy: Why did I go straight to Kindle with The Golden Cup of Kardak?

1) As I said above, I've had pretty good success (by my definition; I'm no Amanda Hocking) selling my books online myself. It made good business sense to put it out there and see how it does.

2) While I have every intention of going the traditional route with other books, this one is sort of like my grammar guide. It's a labor of love, something I really like that I want to get to the world and let my kids (and other kids) read. Now.

3) I feel confident in its quality without going through the industry vetting process. It's been through my critique group. I've had kids in the target age range read it and offer honest feedback. I gave it to my editor at Covenant, and he loved it, but as I mentioned a week ago, the company wasn't publishing fantasy. So I think the book's good, and it's fun. If I say so myself.

4) But it's probably not what's "hot" in agent and editor minds right now. It doesn't follow any current market trend, and it's more like the fantasies I read as a teen. (I have no delusions of being in their league, but for the sake of categorizing, it's more Robin McKinley, less Suzanne Collins, if that makes sense.) So it's not urban fantasy. It's not paranormal or dystopian or post-apocalyptic. There's no romance. Sure, it might sell if I were to pitch it nationally. It might not. It's a softer fantasy, not a The Forest of Hands and Teeth or a Percy Jackson.

5) Because of that, I believe the book's audience may be a niche. But I do believe an audience for it exists. However, niche audiences aren't really what publishers are about. They don't have the luxury of spending the time finding and cultivating a niche. Sales are sink or swim in the first weeks or months after release. But I do have the luxury of time, and I don't have to invest thousands to do it. I can slowly find readers and build my audience. (Here's where the whole short tail/long tail theory comes in.)

Like I said, I have future plans for traditional publishing (both in the LDS and the national markets). For this book, right now, going self e-pubbed simply made sense.

WNW: The Scandinavian E vs. O (Or: Spell My Name Right!)

I'm combining two topics for today's Word Nerd Wednesday: history (in particular, family history) and word nerdiness in the form of patronymic names.

The history, of course, must come first:

Most people in the United States with European ancestry can point to a specific reason (an "immigration event") that spurred people to leave their motherlands and head to America for a better life, whether it was for economic, religious, or other reasons.

One big example is the Irish potato famine. Lots of Irish people came to the States during that period in hopes of, oh, not dying.

Other countries experienced hard financial times, and we see spikes in immigration during them, including people coming to work in U. S. mines, thinking that they'd strike it rich.

A lot of immigrants came from Scandinavia, Sweden in particular. Some of the more common last names we see from that era are Larson, Peterson, and Jacobson.*

Those are patronymic names, meaning the person's last name simply told who their father was. (So Jacobson is Jacob's son, and so forth.) Last names changed with each generation calling themselves after their father.

Most Scandinavian descendants around the U. S. come from Sweden, Iceland, Norway, or Finland.

Not Denmark. Why? Because Denmark never had an immigration event.

Except that it sort of did. The early LDS Church sent missionaries to Denmark, and lots of newly converted Danes then immigrated to Utah. So Utah has a large population of specifically Danish ancestry, something you won't find in any other area of the country.

Now we're getting to the fun part:

Danish patronymic names use an E instead of an O: Larsen, Petersen, Jacobsen. I learned this early on in my marriage when addressing a Christmas card to my grandfather-in-law.

"Is it Jensen with an E or O?"

The answer was a prompt: "E, not O. Grandpa's big on his Danish heritage."

The prevalence of Scandinavian (but not Danish) ancestry in the U. S. is why most Americans, when faced with a patronymic name, will assume it's spelled with an O.

The O is the normal spelling to them. And, assuming the person is not from Utah, chances are, they're right.

But in Utah, the reverse is true. The vast majority of patronymic names are Danish, and they end with an E.

The E is normal to them.

So, the kicker:

If you're like my high-school choir instructor, Mr. Larson, and have a patronymic name not from Denmark, and you either live in Utah or know people from Utah, and those Utah people are always spelling your last name wrong, now you know why.

*This post was inspired by Melanie Jacobson, a victim of this Utahn, who spelled her name wrong once and never will again.

Edited to add: The O is clearly from Sweden, not Finland, Iceland, or Norway. I'm aware of Icelandic and Finnish immigration, but I don't know much about Norway's. Must investigate!

Now Available in Electrons

It's been a busy few weeks around here between me doing proofing (three times) and getting constant changes and tweaks to my computer guy (the husband).

Oh, and then there was getting two covers made.

One was a new one for Lost Without You. It's in the header and over in the side bar, but for your viewing pleasure, here it is again:

(If you've read it: doesn't the new one reflect the story so much better? I know!)

But the biggest news right now is what's behind all the proofing and coding and the second cover.

All of that was for a brand new e-book.

I got the idea for the story during my senior year of high school.

(Here's where I wax nostalgic.)

I was part of a program called the Senior Honors Seminar. About a dozen seniors were picked for it through an application process. It was essentially a way cool book club run by the principal and one of the English teachers. They gave us books to read, and about once a month, they excused us from class, fed us donuts or pizza, and we talked books and ideas and concepts and had a ball.

The last meeting before graduation was of particular note, when one of the more eccentric members, a student known for his intellect more than his grades and good behavior, showed up high on drugs. (That freaked out several of us young, naive high schoolers.) Fortunately, most of the meetings were interesting for the discussions.

One month, instead of reading a book, we arrived not knowing what to expect. They divided us up. A girl I'd known for years, Steffani, was my partner. Each pair got a painting to look at. We had to come up with a story based on the painting. Totally cool exercise.

Steff and I got "The Timpanogos Storyteller" by James Christensen. In the four or five minutes they gave us, we came up with an adventure based on two characters sitting in the foreground, a boy and a girl. Clutched beneath the girl's arm is a golden object that looks like a dragon. (She's got bluish hair and he's wearing a dark green tunic. Can you see them?)

(Image from Inthepagesofabook.blogspot.com)

We said that these two were siblings. Their father was a prisoner of war, and they had to go rescue him with this magical goblet (that's what the gold dragon thing was, we decided), and that along they way, they find this group of people and creatures in the wood (including a wizard who tells stories, per the painting). This eclectic group would help them find the prison and free their father.

We didn't have time to come up with more details than a skeleton, but I loved the general idea. I went home and jotted it down: a single paragraph in a notebook. That scribbled idea stayed in there for years, but eventually I opened up that notebook, read the idea again, still liked the idea, and began writing the story.

In the end, lots and lots of things changed, and I fleshed out all the stuff that Steff and I didn't come up with in four minutes. The siblings ended up closer in age than in the painting (they're 14 and 12), and the sister doesn't have blue hair. I gave them a wounded knight as a traveling companion. A scene in the book that's inspired by the painting does show up (as does a bunch of other fun stuff; see the blurb below).

I played with the story off and on for years. I took it to my critique group. At one point I had some nibbles submitting nationally, but when I decided to pursue the LDS market in earnest, I let it gather dust. Later, I played with (and polished) the manuscript yet again.

When Kirk at Covenant, who was my editor at the time, expressed interest in the fantasy, I sent it to him. He loved it, but turns out that in spite of his enthusiasm, Covenant wasn't doing youth fantasy at that point, so it was a no-go.

I'll go into more detail next week as to why I decided to put it onto the Kindle instead of wooing an agent with it, but for now, I'll say that after all these years, it's out there for kids and grown-ups alike to read, and that's just cool.

Here's the cover and the blurb:

Ever since their father went to fight in Midian’s War, fourteen-year old Torin and twelve-year-old Merinne have been forced to fend for themselves, hoping one day their family will be reunited. But when a short woman with odd clothing finds Torin in the wood and tells him their father is a prisoner scheduled to be executed in fourteen days, his hopes for ever being a family again are dashed. Then a tiny green dragon shows up at their cottage, wounded and near death but lugging a legendary golden goblet behind him. He brings word of a prophecy that the siblings are to not only rescue their father but save the kingdom. With the help of Markanus, a wounded solider, they set out on a quest to free their father. In their search for the secret prison, the small group faces near-capture by the ruthless enemy army, a maze of terrifying underground caverns, kidnapping by giant hairy creatures that will kill them to keep the goblet, capture by outlaws, and attacks by snake-tongued flying beasts with razor-sharp talons. To succeed they must find help to deliver the goblet to their father and somehow muster the courage it will take to stay alive.

Find it on Amazon for $2.99.

WNW: Two Definition Blunders

Whether I'm reading a book or editing a manuscript, I tend to notice misused words. (I do, however, maintain the right to have typos and mistakes here on my blog. Just sayin'.)

Some of these are misused word pairs, which I've covered before on Word Nerd Wednesday (see the homophones posts HERE and HERE, with more to come), but others aren't word pairs. Instead, they're terms we often assume mean one thing but really mean something else.

Today's we're focusing on two commonly misunderstood words and their real meanings. Both words are often mixed up because they sound like they're emphasizing the core word. Not so.

penultimate

This word sounds really cool. It sounds like "the ultra ultimate," of something, so whatever it's describing, it must be way awesome.

The real definition isn't nearly so spectacular: penultimate simply means the second to last.

If you're a reader and know this series, here's a way to remember it: The second to last book in The Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket is The Penultimate Peril.

That book isn't the ultimate peril. (You could argue that other books have worse perils.) It's just the second to last conflict that the Violet, Klaus, and Sunny face as they try to foil Count Olaf. It's the second to last book in the series. It's the penultimate volume.

infamous

Back in eighth grade when I created a writing and reading club focused on (shocker, I bet) L. M. Montgomery, I wrote a newsletter and included stories we wrote in it.

One of my stories included the term infamous, meaning (I thought) someone (my hero) who was really, really famous.

Turns out that infamous means someone or something is dastardly or "bringing infamy." It's having a bad reputation, which could mean the person is famous, but if so, it's specifically for a doing bad things. A good example of an infamous person would be Ted Bundy the serial killer.

So, yeah. Not my hero and heroine.

Tristi's Hang 'Em High Hoedown

Welcome to the Hang ‘em High Hoedown, counting down the days until the release of Tristi Pinkston’s new novel Hang ‘em High, the third installment in The Secret Sisters Mysteries.

When Ida Mae Babbitt receives an invitation to visit her son Keith’s dude ranch in Montana, she’s excited to mend their broken relationship, but not so excited about spending time with cows. Arlette and Tansy go along with her, ready to take a vacation that does not involve dead bodies or mysteries of any sort—one must have a break from time to time. But it seems a no-good scoundrel has moseyed into Dodge City and is bent on causing all sorts of trouble for the ranch. Unable to keep her curiosity in check—especially when it seems her own son is the most likely culprit—Ida Mae decides to investigate. Can she lasso the varmint and get him to the sheriff in time?

You are invited to the launch party:

When: Saturday, August 13^th, 12 – 4 pm

Where: Pioneer Book, 858 S. State, Orem

Prizes, games, Dutch oven cobbler (first come, first served)

Tristi will be joined by authors Nichole Giles, Heather Justesen,

Cindy Hogan, and J. Lloyd Morgan

To count down to this book launch, Tristi is holding a contest, and you can win a ton of great prizes!

On my blog, you can win:

Band of Sisters, winner of the 2010 Whitney Award for Best General Novel

The backliner:

When the war on terror calls their husbands to duty, five LDS women are left behind to fight battles of their own: Kim, newlywed and pregnant, frightened of what the future might bring. Brenda, struggling to manage three unruly boys and a crippling bout of depression. Jessie, secretly grappling with mixed feelings about her emotionally abusive husband. Marianne, wrestling with a rebellious teenage daughter. And Nora, the seasoned Army wife with perfect hair, an immaculate home — and an ill-tempered mother dying of cancer.

Knowing the separation of deployment is extremely difficult, Nora gathers the wives every week to share lunches and burdens. In good company, they worry over safety in the field and stability at home and offer one another counsel and comfort. But as their personal crises build, each woman faces the risks of forming deep bonds of trust. And when tragedy strikes, they must confront the painful realities of war that pull families apart and bring friends together as sisters.

EDITED TO ADD:

OR you have the option of winning Tower of Strength, my fourth temple-related book. Like the other prizes in Tristi's Hoe Down, it features a HORSE. Winner's choice. Read about Tower of Strength HERE. (You can also watch the trailer for it in my side bar.)

To enter, do all of the following:

1. Be a follower of my blog.

2. Go to Tristi’s blog at http://www.tristipinkston.blogspot.com and become a follower of her blog.

3. Leave Tristi a comment and tell her you’ve been to my blog, and tell her one reason why you’d like to win my book.

You have two days to enter the contest on my blog (all entries for my prize must be received by midnight, August 2^nd, MST), but the hoe down fun is just getting started.

Be sure to check Tristi’s blog every day for information about the next prize – you’re in for a rootin’-tootin’ good time as we count down the days!

Sample Sunday: The Golden Cup of Kardak

Chapter One

Urgent Messenger

Torin whistled as he headed down the forest path. He had a bag of potatoes over one shoulder and a five piece in his hand. Wouldn’t Merinne be thrilled! He tossed the coin into the air and caught it, then heard a noise in the brush ahead.

At first he thought it was just of fox or a jackrabbit, until he looked over and saw a flash of a brown cloak slipping behind a big rock. Because the colors blended into the forest so well, he thought he’d imagined a green, pointed hat—it was a wonder Torin saw anything at all. His curiosity getting the better of him, he took a step off the path to investigate.

A little woman with mousy, brown hair peered out and waved a bent hand at him. Startled, Torin caught his breath. Was she a dwarf? A gnome? She looked younger than the pictures of gnomes and dwarves he had seen in books. Her hair was pulled into a bun, but wisps had come loose and framed her face. She crooked her finger at him.

He pointed at himself. “Me?”

She looked around as if she was afraid someone might have heard, then held a finger to her lips. Again she beckoned for Torin to follow. She ran a few steps but paused and looked back to be sure he’d come.

Torin debated for only a moment. If Merinne were there, she’d insist he go straight home. But this felt different than the times he’d been duped, like when he bought a goat for milk and didn’t realize it was a he-goat until it was too late. He tucked the coin into his pocket, hoping the woman hadn’t seen it, and promised himself to not give it to her.

Again the woman stopped and waved him on. Torin stepped off the path and followed through the rough. She moved quietly as she led him to a tiny cave hidden behind some brush. He had to lean down to fit inside. She pulled Torin into hiding, throwing a glance into the wood as she drew him in.

Her wiry hands gripped his as she whispered, “Your father is alive and needs your help.”

[Title now available HERE for $2.99]

Answer & a Post

For those wondering about this week's Word Nerd Wednesday, Sandra got it right!

All the words in that list describe groups of animals. When I first saw this list, I knew a couple of them, but into a big group like this, even those definitions dissolved, and I couldn't figure it out until someone else told me. The full list is below.

Also: Today I'm guest posting at my friend Liz's group blog. (I've blogged about the awesome Liz, who I've known for over half my life, HERE.)

Read my guest post over at Hey Nonny HERE.

And the animal list:

Kindle of Kittens
Sleuth of Bears
Leash of Greyhounds
Brace of Ducks
Charm of Goldfinches
Drift of Swine
Exaltation of Larks
Grist of Bees
Leap of Leopards
Murder of Crows
Bed of Clams
Sounder of Boars
Chattering of Choughs
Spring of Teals
Trip of Seals
Watch of Nightingales
Wing of Plovers
Rafter of Turkeys
Clamor of Rooks
Kettle of Hawks
Mute of Hounds
Unkindness of Ravens
Wisdom of Owls
Train of Camels
Gulp of Cormorants
Skulk of Foxes
Rhumba of Rattlesnakes
Clutter of Cats
Bloat of Hippos
Troubling of Goldfish

WNW: What Do These Words Have in Common?

FIRST, A REMINDER:

The registration deadline for the Precision Editing live critique workshop is coming up. The workshop will be much like the Storymaker conference Boot Camp, but all day, and with less of a crowd.

MORE:

The workshop is Saturday, August 13, 10:30 to 3:30.

Cost: $35 for the day. (A one-hour lunch break is on you.)
CLICK HERE for more info.

Serious word nerd alert here.

I found this list of terms not too long ago. I'm posting it now with a question for you:

What do all of these words have in common?

I'll post the answer later.

Kindle
Sleuth
Leash
Brace
Charm
Drift
Exaltation
Grist
Leap
Murder
Bed
Sounder
Chattering
Spring
Trip
Watch
Wing
Rafter
Clamor
Kettle
Mute
Unkindness
Wisdom
Train
Gulp
Skulk
Rhumba
Clutter
Bloat
Troubling